Rejection is Only Powerful if You Believe It

We all have a destiny. Instinctively we want to fulfill it. We have God given gifts in the area we’re meant to go towards.

When you begin a destiny journey, there will always be opposition, and with opposition comes rejection. Your ideas are rejected, your work is rejected, your time set aside  for it is interrupted. Loved ones don’t believe you can do it, and they make sure you hear them say so, because they’re trying to save you from failure.

Rejection and interruptions cause dread, and dread is a form of fear. If you begin to fear you are unable to accomplish your goal, there’s a chance you will fulfill your own thoughts and others’ words. It’s scary to go it alone. No bolstering save for God’s encouragement in various forms—hearing of others overcoming, reading key encouragements, maybe dreams, etcetera. Still afraid, though, aren’t we?

Do it afraid then. This counters dread, it lessens fear. Actions always speak louder than fears—so I say again, do it afraid. What is the worse case scenario if you do it afraid?  Think about  what could happen if you disbelieve the rejection, put your head down and plow through it.

I have a fear of heights. As a kid, I enjoyed a public pool with my friends who were not afraid of heights. Off they’d go to the deep end, climb the many steps to the top and free fall into the water, diving off the high board.

I envied them and thought they were crazy at the same time. They encouraged me to try, and time after time I felt too afraid. I’d start to climb, then, “No, no, no, no!” And I’d desend, heart pounding. When a friend teased me for my “silly” fear saying I could never do it because fear ruled me,  I climbed white knuckled on weak legs and felt the sky push on my head, felt dizzy, hesitated, whimpered, and pushed off with my toes. I horror-movie-screamed all the way down,  and sunk into the water like a torpedo, feet first. I hated the height I had to do it from, however, I loved the sensation of speeding through water with my body, the refreshing cool on my skin, the sense of freedom and accomplishment. I’m still afraid of heights, but the dread doesn’t compare to the dive. The fear doesn’t compare to the performance.

I often use this memory to reject rejection. Rejection comes in many forms. My ability to dive despite my fear had to go through the challenge. So I encourage anyone to allow the challenge of dread, fear, and rejection in order to reject it and climb up to your destiny. You know what you want deep in your heart. Fear is but a shadow of rejection in some form. The light of courage slays it.

I feel the biggest challenge I have faced and pushed forward despite dread, fear, and rejection ended up in my adulthood while I sought a publisher for my novel, They All Wore Black. The more I faced rejection, the more I dreaded it, but I climbed up, felt the sky push on my head and dove again and again into the world of rejection until I held my meaningful novel in my hands. I’m not the type to be told ‘no’ and accept it.

Despite the trouble the publisher caused me, I continue to reject the dread. My novel is doing well, but the moment I let trying circumstances bleed dread on me, my legs become weak the way they did on my first high diving board venture. I’m swimming, not drowning, with a life jacket made of rejecting rejection.

Thanks for reading.


Head’s Up for Dishonest Publishers

Keep your emotions under control. Be careful not to be in a rush to have your first novel or book published. Before you sign, choose carefully. Look for these head’s up traits, and listen to your gut not your emotions:

  • Long friendly chats may groom you to like/trust the publisher, appeal to your emotions
  • In initial conversation, publisher repeatedly says he/she doesn’t skim off authors
  • First contract seems straight forward and fair, too good to be true
  • Everything sounds perfect in chats, even the royalties— “Just send in MS upon agreeing.”
  • A second unexpected contract from same publisher negatively affects royalties
  • Publisher says they’re like traditional, yet you pay all book production, printing, delivery
  • You notice inconsistencies from one communication to another
  • Your questions are evaded

Watch for these signs of trouble:

  • Doesn’t tell you Amazon and IngramSpark accounts, though the author pays to open, will be locked up tight under that publisher’s name
  • Encourages you to buy print books for private sales; takes 100% of Amazon royalties book for book as a result—and you have no idea what your sales are on Amazon
  • Insists he/she needs authors to help pay into advertising to build his/her company
  • You notice inconsistencies from one communicate to another
  • Publisher doesn’t ask for signed contract, just send in MS as signature
  • Insults your writing, discourages you rather than encouraging and building confidence in your project
  • Has a manipulative personality in the way of becoming angry if you disagree with him/her
  • Used only Facebook to communicate and send edits, never uses e-mail
  • Gives no invoices or receipts, operates from PayPal
  • Announces online he is unable to pay his bills; accepts pooled funds money from authors

Check with Writer Beware, Independent Author’s Association, Better Business Bureau, and other writer’s associations before making a final decision on having your MS published. The wrong publisher is about as nasty as divorce, choose carefully.

Thanks for reading.