encouragement, Human Behaviour, Human Nature

Disciplining Our Parents?

SETTING PARAMETERS ON GENERATIONAL IDEOLOGY

Most kids growing up in before the 80s were disciplined by conventional rules. Being taught right from wrong was the norm, and we knew to respect our elders. We lived within boundaries or else.

We conventionalized children developed into adults; we taught our own children boundaries to live by and leave the nest with. But our elderly parents and in-laws, at some point, as they’re intertwined in our lives, now need parameters set by we whom have lived by Mom and Dad’s theories. And isn’t it rather remarkable how take a step back and dissect this phenomena of surpassing our parents in ways of our thinking? We raised our kids according to our beliefs formed in the societal realms surrounding updated, cogent information, yet some of our parents still insist on theirs. They interfere in ways that they don’t seem to understand are intrusive, and we know there will be friction when we get the nerve to set boundaries—our limits, our wishes, our way of thinking. And it’s difficult since we still have love and respect for our moms and dads. We are cognizant of their feelings, and we understand that setting parameters obscures the rules and notions they believe to be fair—because their parents taught them that way, and so on. Not to say the way children were raised is wrong entirely. There are concepts, though, that we don’t live by in this century.

However, this is the path of generational ideology, and it isn’t always ideal. For instance, perhaps it was okay for our grandparents to walk in without knocking. In this day and age, is there too much going on in the outside world to have our internal, private world compromised? Is it all right for our parents to invite themselves to dinner, make that dinner and bring it over expecting that the rich and cholesterol ridden meal is acceptable when medication for high cholesterol is combatting clogged arteries, and the abundant sugar used in the meal will no doubt affect the blood sugar of one striving to combat blood sugar issues? How do we say no? We’re always trying to prevent the emotional upheavals. And here we all thought that being a grown up was something we couldn’t wait for.

God tells humans to respect our parents. And we can still do that and also set a do-not-cross line. We do that respectfully, but if we let problems go too long, we’ll be too angry to be respectful. Being truthful is necessary, and we best let our parents and in-laws know that we aren’t children anymore. We have developed and learned and made our own adult choices outside the nest, and really, isn’t that the point of leaving the sheltered life? It is far from easy to tell the truth sometimes; however, eventually it just might be the only way to be set free of disappointments with living one lifestyle in the presence of our parents and in-laws then catching up on our own lifestyle in our own time. A ‘no thank you,’ and a polite explanation may or may not work. It depends on how long it’s been a problem. I’m not a professional in the field of advice. I only know what difficulties I have endured. I’m still establishing the ‘no thank you’ concept. God, please, p-a-a-a-a-l-e-e-e-se help me….

God bless, thanks for reading~

Lynn

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